connections

Most of us remember this scene from Jerry Maguire. And while there is a lot of verbage out there in the self help world about loving ourselves (good advice) and not needing anyone to “complete us”. The truth is, scientifically speaking, when it comes down to chemistry we do, in fact, complete eachother. We are drawn to and attracted to folks who bridge our splits, and create additional channels and defined centers in our Design. This is not the same as having it for yourself but it is an energy you play in, like laying a filter over your bodygraph. We gain access to energy we didn't have consistent use of before. And especially with Splits, this is something we are often unconsciously seeking… we in effect, do, feel incomplete. I have yet to do a connections reading where a couple did not bridge each others splits in some way.

This does not just apply to partnership but in the auras we play in every day. Obviously this will affect us more if it is an aura that we spend more time in than not, especially as with an intimate partner, but also to some degree roommates, a close working co-worker, and/or children who are the co-leads or at least significant supporting roles in our life movie. 

That is not to say that I think we do or should need someone to feel complete. We need energetic autonomy and self sovereignty, absolutely. And, I wholeheartedly believe that we learn the most through, and become our best selves in, our relationships with others. That connection and intimacy is intrinsic to the very fiber of our beings. And that falling in love, especially, cracks us open in ways that nothing else can. It is a gift that we can actively choose to utilize our relationships as catalysts for own growth.

That being said there are lots of ways we energetically affect each other. And the handbook (below) is a great place to get started when wanting to more consciously support and nurture our most important relationships. Some great questions to start with are: 

• What centers do I/they have open that they/I have defined? How might that be affecting me/them?

• In our energetic combination what centers remain open?

• What centers are created, meaning neither one of you have this center defined on your own but together you create definition? This is a sweet spot, a place where you create + gain access to something completely new together.

• What planetary line do they come from and how might that energy be influencing me?

• What attraction, friendship, dominance, compromise channels do we create and how can we best utilize this knowledge? (below)

• How can I utilize my magnetism gate (your unconscious moon) to heal my sacred wound and embody its gifts? Visit the module here.

• And from the handbook (below).. asking questions like how might you support their aura, environment, PHS, etc..? How can they support yours? While I put this together originally with kiddos in mind, it is really for any relationship in our life where we want to bring more conscious awareness + intention.

A connections chart

This is run through Genetic Matrix which can be really helpful to see everything so clearly but not necessary as you can piece it together with two individual charts. So what do we look for…

breaking it down

connection themes

When you are looking at your charts side by side… how many centers do you have defined together (meaning at least one of you has that center defined in their bodygraph or you each have a gate on either side, creating a channel together which lights up/defines both centers) and how many remain open.

As you can see from Hawn + Russell’s chart above, together they have all 9 centers defined. This is the connection theme 9 and 0 Nowhere to Go (which is noted in the bottom left corner). These are kind of kitchy little names around connections.

9 and 0 Nowhere to go.

With all 9 centers defined together the relationship can get very insular, contained. You may find you spend a lot of cozy nights at home together because you have this kind of complete, don’t need anyone else, vibe. There can be a contentment with just each other. 9/0 usually have an intensity to their relationship, whether intensely intimate or intensely toxic. They can get so absorbed in eachother that they disappear from their friends lives when they are together. That being said, I’ve been in 9 and 0 relationships with a lot of space (but also a lot of nights in ;). To make it work it’s good to have this, when you’re together be together, and then invite in some space and go about your lives outside of eachother.

8 and 1 Have some fun.

This can be a fun combination. You are really experiencing the world through this same energy. When we have one center open together this can be a way out, a doorway, the place that we as individuals might find space outside of the relationship and/or ways we may have similar hobbies and interests and invite others who share those interests in. And with only one open center together, we are in effect, looking out the same window, experiencing the world together through that energy.

7 and 2 Work to do.

This combo usually requires a little extra conscious attention to avoid misinterpretations, confusion, assumptions or power struggles. Your relationship can teach you a lot when you support each others individuation and bring mindfulness and intention around supporting each other and finding harmony. With two centers open it means you may be focused on different things outside of the relationship, which absolutely does not have to be a bad thing when there is awareness around nurturing commonality, and what binds you, as well as supporting your partner to explore their interests outside the relationship and maybe even taking a little interest in what they’re into.

6 and 3 Better be free.

Awareness + space can be key for this combo, feeling like you each have the freedom to really own and do your own thing so that when you come together there is a sweet mutual appreciation, support and honoring of your differences + what each of you bring to the table.

5 and 4 Not a relationship anymore.

There can be an initial attraction and feeling of deep friendship that may be hard to sustain. The end of the relationship can feel abrupt, like one day, it’s just run its course.

the channels

As I said, the software makes it easier and takes out A LOT of work but it’s totally doable without. If you choose not to have the software, I will show you how to piece it together below in “how to identify”. If it becomes too tedious you can also order a snapshot here. :)

Attraction Channels

How to identify: When looking at your two individual charts what channels do you create together, meaning you each have one of the gates and together form the channel. You can see in the example above that Goldie + Kurt have several attraction channels. For instance: Russel has Gate 2 and Hawn has Gate 14 so together they create the Channel of the Beat (2-14).

What does it mean: Attraction channels are pretty much exactly how they sound. These are the ones that really account for chemistry, for the “spark”, because each person carries a piece of the puzzle. And, we can and should honor what each of us is bringing to the table.

If you don’t have any attraction channels (which I have absolutely seen in readings) fear not. Often what accounts for such an intense attraction in the beginning can shift in how it shows up energetically. As with relationships in general, there are little things that initially draw us to that person but can start to be annoying down the road. We want to bring awareness and lean in to the energy we create together (the channel). The Unconscious Moon module is a great one to visit when it comes to how our own attraction/repulsion dynamic plays out.

Friendship/Companionship Channels

How to identify: Both of you have this channel defined in your chart on your own. In the example above you can see that Hawn + Russel do not share any channels despite having a long + seemingly successful partnership.

What does it mean: These are essentially companionship vibes. You share a commonality energetically that can create a feeling of comfort in how you move in the world with regard to this archetype. It may also be a draw, especially when one is motivated by feelings of stability. This is not typically an area of growth for the couple as it’s just kinda ‘same same’ energy but it may be a place where you feel you can really relate to them.

Dominance Channels

How to identify: One person has the full Channel in their own bodygraph while the other carries no definition in either Gate. The example above has one Dominance Channel and it goes to Goldie with the Channel of Surrender.

What does it mean: Using the example above, this means that Goldie is dominant in this energy and in order to create harmony in the relationship it is healthy for Kurt to let her lead here and play to her strengths. Often times, the person without the channel will take it on and try to express it, and amplify it, through Not Self behavior. Instead, he can use this is an opportunity to learn from her + honor and appreciate her innate wisdom in this area. She has a fixed quality in this energy and acceptance of that is key.

*You can also apply this theory to a center that one person carries and the other does not. This may feel especially true when the person with the center open has it completely open, meaning with no hanging gates.

Compromise channels

How to identify: One person has the full Channel while the other person has one of the ‘hanging’ Gates from that Channel. As you can see above they have several compromise channels. It’s one of the reasons I love using them as an example because couples can cringe at how many compromise channels they carry but in reality these are the areas where we have the biggest opportunity for growth. For example: Kurt has the Channel of Openness (12-22) while Goldie has Gate 12, the Gate of Caution defined.

What does it mean: Essentially the person with the Gate only is compromised by the person with the Channel. The person with the Gate only needs to kind of surrender to how the person with the full Channel lives out that energies expression. If they don’t like how it’s expressing, or try to lead here, it can create conflict. These are really the sticky wickets of a relationship, the arguments we can’t seem to get past, that happen again and again.

The person with the Channel really needs to be allowed to lead here and it can feel stunting to the one with the Gate if they can’t surrender or if they are trying to kind of compete in, or control that energy. This is one where we REALLY need to try to wrap our heads around it not being personal, but the energetics of our combination, and remember that it is these areas that offer the greatest catalysts for transformation + up-leveling. And, in some cases, it may just be the place where you agree to disagree and move on. That surrender in itself can be growth. Often times these are the battles no one is going to win, you’re going to just keep going round and round (I shared a good analogy I read about this in the Support video) so look to:

• bring awareness.

• take breaks and step away when needed

• remember that this is an energetic dynamic and not someones “fault”, or something to be fixed

• find ways to shift out of it that work for you when you’re headed down the rabbit hole again. Remind yourself that it just leads to unnecessary friction + suffering and what Einstein shared: “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again expecting different results”.

• and also, ya know, know your deal breakers. This may not be a place you are willing to compromise, an energy you are willing to role with.
  

astro specific

Looking at your + your partners planets in the natal chart as to how you can support each other and the relationship as a whole. You can think about SIGN, HOUSE + GATE especially:

SUN: how you shine and thinking about how you can support your partner to shine.

MOON: your deep needs, how you feel nourished and create intimacy and how you can support those needs for your partner.

MERCURY: how you each communicate and (hopefully) practice active listening as we all the energy of our day to day needs.

VENUS: how we connect to each other romantically + what we need from those sensual spaces… how you each desire closeness.

MARS: how we fight and also our primal sexual desires.

JUPITER: our deeper beliefs, our sense of adventure and moving through our evolution + mission together.

SATURN: time + how our relationship, and we each individually, age, how we stand the test of time.

The outer/generational planets will be more about the HOUSE it resides for each of you but you can also think about the sign. It’s likely you will have them in the same sign if you are close in age.

URANUS: our individuality and how you can support that in your partner.

NEPTUNE: romance + spiritual connection.

PLUTO: power struggles (especially when going through a transit) but also our ability to ask ourselves hard questions and go below the surface.

want more…?